Knowing yourself

  • Do you doubt yourself, your emotions, opinions and values?
  • Do you find it difficult to ask for what you want and even to recognise and accept your needs in the first place?
"One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night.” Kahlil Gibran

“One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night.” Kahlil Gibran

What most of us seem to want is to find our ‘real selves’ and to live our lives with vitality and ease.

As social beings we are, as children, dependent on our caretakers for protection, physical care and emotional support.  We therefore learned to adapt to the needs and feelings of others in order to survive. Inevitably this means suppressing or denying certain of our experiences, feelings and needs. The danger is that we lose touch with our true self and develop a false self when we have to adapt significantly to the excessive demands (and even abuses) of caretakers and wider society.

As adults we may have so deeply buried our true self (needs and feelings) that we find it very difficult to know what we feel or what we want. We may struggle to make decisions, assert ourselves and to have close relationships. Our lives can sometimes seem so hard, meaningless and lacking in joy. We constantly doubt ourselves, feel unable to ask for what we want or to express our feelings and can end up depressed and often resentful. When we do manage to assert ourselves we often feel guilty and either give in or take no pleasure from our efforts.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
Kahlil Gibran

Counselling and psychotherapy are not easy options and usually involve considerable soul searching and perhaps moments of grief. These experiences may be part of the journey which leads to a brighter future. You can be sure that I have been through this process myself, and have the training and experience to provide a supportive environment for you here in Stockport.